Hope whispers and I will follow
by silvermoon8705
Summary: An alternate 2x12. Merlin doesn't poison Morgana. The two of them confide in each other, which leads to a brighter future for Camelot.


**Title: **Hope whispers and I will follow  
**Author: **silvermoon8705  
**Rating: **PG  
**Characters/Pairings: **Merlin/Morgana, Merlin/Arthur (pre-slash)  
**Spoilers: **2x12 – altered version of events  
**Disclaimer:** The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money being made.  
**Summary: **Merlin doesn't poison Morgana. The two of them confide in each other, which leads to a brighter future for Camelot.**  
****Author's Notes: **I know I'm not the first attempting to rectify the events of 2x12, but this is my take on what would have happened if certain things had occurred – leaving the end result to be much different.

_~ * ~_

"Merlin!"

Upon hearing Morgana's warning shout, Merlin quickly turned away from the window where he had just sighted the cart.

One of the black knights was coming at him.

Without a sword, he tried his best to avoid the knight's sword by physically moving out of the way. Forgetting Morgana's presence momentarily, Merlin acted instinctively. His strength lay in wielding his magic and so he drew his hand forward and shouted a spell to throw the offending knight away from him. A temporary solution, but effective for now.

And then he realized that Morgana was there – her eyes wide in shock at what she had just seen.

Merlin barely gave himself time to think about what had just revealed to Morgana. Instead, he reached out his hand to her.

"Come on, we have to get back."

She did not take his hand.

She felt betrayed that he had lied to her. That he hadn't told her the truth about himself after she confided her secret to him. Morgana had entrusted him with the fact of her magic – the very thing that could be the death of her if she were found out.

And yet, Merlin couldn't extend the same courtesy to her? The same level of trust?

"Merlin, you have magic…" she uttered, part disbelief, part frustrated at finding out now when Merlin could have, _should_ have told her before.

He nodded solemnly, confirming what she had just witnessed.

"You're like me?"

He nodded again. "I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, Morgana. I know I shouldn't have kept this from you. If there is anything I can do--"

"But – why? After what I told you in confidence? _Why couldn't you trust me, Merlin?"_

Merlin sighed and led them into a room – away from the hallway where the knights could attack at any moment.

He closed the door and leaned against it. Morgana stood in front of him, a questioning, expectant look in her eyes.

She wanted to understand.

Merlin looked directly at her and began in earnest to explain his actions. "I wanted to tell you. You don't know how much… but we're in Camelot. It's not safe for either of us here. It hasn't been easy keeping my magic a secret like this – something that is so much a part of me. I was born with magic, Morgana. I've had magic before I even knew what it was. It is a part of me I can not change--"

Morgana held up her hand. "You do not need to explain to me. While I had hoped you could trust me, I understand the fear you felt. When the Witchfinder came to Camelot, I was never more frightened than I was then," she confided to him.

She placed her hand over his cheek, Merlin leaning into the touch. His eyes fluttered closed briefly before he opened them and Morgana saw blue shift to gold before her eyes. Not a moment later, his eyes were their usual expressive blue once again.

"I didn't know who to trust. It's just so hard. I'm sorry, _so sorry," _Merlin whispered the last words.

And then he fell to the ground, covering his face with his hands.

"Merlin? Oh, Merlin," she murmured as she kneeled down beside him.

She put her arms around him, hugging him. "What is it, Merlin?" Morgana inquired gently when he didn't answer her after a few moments.

He looked up at her. "I know the source of the sickness. I have to eliminate it."

"Well, that's good," she said. But at the sad look on Merlin's face, she took back her words.

Merlin moved away from her and he sighed. He could not look at her. His eyes were cast down to the ground.

"It is you, Morgana. You're the one who is keeping this sickness going. That is why you are left unaffected," There was a hint of accusation in his tone, but Merlin knew in his heart that the blame did not lay on her. Even after Morgana's questionable actions that defied Uther as of late, Merlin would not allow himself to believe that what had presently fallen upon Camelot was her doing.

"But you must know I am not doing this on purpose!" Morgana defended herself in earnest.

He shifted his eyes away from her piercing gaze. "It is the only option I have. I have to kill you for the sake of Camelot. If Arthur continues to fight the knights of Medir in his feverish state, he won't last long."

"I know," she said quietly in grim acceptance. Then Morgana took his hand in hers, trying to catch his eye. He stared down at the hand joined with his own and then, hesitantly, Merlin looked up and uncertain blue met determined green. Upon establishing eye contact, Morgana spoke, "Look, Merlin. I need to tell you something – I think Morgause is to blame. That's why I went after you after Arthur sent you away to find the cart. She is behind this, Merlin. Morgause sought me out the evening before this sickness started and I met with her. I'm sure that she did something to me because I woke up the next morning, disoriented and confused. That may be why I am left untouched by the spell. If we corner her, _talk _to her, Merlin – maybe we could convince her to lift the spell."

Merlin closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his hands. A – preemptive, he thought – sigh of relief escaped him. He desperately hoped that Morgana's plan would succeed.

Because the other option was too terrible to contemplate.

They headed back to Arthur. The prince had been understandably upset that the two had taken so long – _what if the knights had gotten the best of you? What possessed the both of you to take up so much time while the castle is under attack and, particularly important, almost defenseless! _He had said -- worry clearly lacing his words.

Once Arthur had settled down, Merlin and Morgana told them about Morgause and how she was the key to stopping the sickness.

The two decided not to tell Arthur about the second, less desirable option. Merlin and Morgana resolved that it would do no good to concern Arthur any further. They hoped that it would never have to come to that. Somehow, not confiding this to the prince allowed them to pretend such a situation would never come to pass. They would do everything they could to prevent the worst from having to occur.

~ * ~

Merlin and Morgana confronted Morgause in the throne room while Arthur handled the knights outside of the room. Merlin hated to do such a thing – leave Arthur to fight the knights in his weakened state, but the prince had been adamant.

They had moved Uther into the throne room in their continued quest to protect the king – or more like _Arthur's_ mission since both Merlin and Morgana didn't have the warmest feelings toward the king. So someone needed to keep the knights from entering the room and that fell to Arthur, a duty that he could not be dissuaded from.

Unfortunately, Morgause could not be easily persuaded to lift the spell.

"You told me that you were with me!" Morgause cried furiously. She was directing her words at Morgana.

Merlin stood next to Morgana and he kept silent – knowing full well that the conflict was between Morgana and Morgause.

Morgana advanced on her, pointing a finger in accusation. "You didn't tell me that you were planning to do this. I didn't agree to Camelot falling in this way! How dare you come here and say I would support such a thing!"

"You still gave me your word," Morgause said firmly. "Are you going back on what you swore to me?"

"What ever I told you was based on your manipulation! I _demand_ that you end the spell causing the sickness and driving the knights."

Morgause shrugged. "I do not understand what has led to your change of heart, but you have given me no incentive to lift the spell."

"This is wrong, Morgause! This must end," she said fiercely, her green eyes dark and blazing.

But Morgause said simply, "I desire the downfall of Camelot, of Uther – to lift the spell would be adverse to what I want."

Merlin spoke up then, taking Morgana's hand in his in a show of unity.

He nodded at Morgause. "You will end the spell and we will give you what you want in return."

Morgana stared in shock at him. "Merlin, no! We don't know what she'll do!"

Morgause looked to be pondering the offer. She looked at each of them in turn and then said softly to Morgana, velvet poison in her words. "For love, Morgana?"

Morgana didn't say a word in reply, though she tightened her hold on Merlin's hand, a steely look in her eyes.

"Very well," Morgause nodded. "I will lift the spell and then I will get something in return."

Morgana eyed her in suspicion. "Which is _what_?"

She shook her head. "That is not the way I negotiate. You should be grateful, Morgana, that I am lifting the spell at all. Do not ask for more than you deserve."

Merlin leaned toward Morgana and he whispered in her ear. "This is what we wanted. The alternative is unthinkable. This is the best choice – the _only_ choice we have, Morgana."

Morgana sighed. Merlin was right.

And so they allowed Morgause to lift the spell.

~ * ~

Arthur rushed into the throne room after discovering that all the knights had fallen – signifying that the spell was over.

"Is my father all right?" He urgently asked upon entering, shutting the door behind him.

No one gave him an answer.

What he saw before him made his blood run cold.

Morgause was gone, he could see that, but Morgana was on the floor and Merlin's head was cradled in her lap. Merlin wasn't moving.

He strode over to her, a terrifying thought gnawing at his gut.

"Morgana?" He questioned, sitting down beside her and Merlin's prone body.

She continued to look down at Merlin and she stroked his hair in an eerily calm gesture.

"It was Morgause… she lifted the spell, but Merlin paid the price," she explained softly, still not looking at Arthur. Morgana took a deep breath and now, directing a piercing gaze at him, she said solemnly, "He's dead, Arthur."

~ * ~

Arthur felt like the world had stopped. He couldn't believe what Morgana had just told him.

"What happened? What went wrong?" He asked her. His jaw was clenched tight as he looked to Morgana for answers.

He worried that if he laid a hand on Merlin and felt no pulse, no sign of life for himself, then he would surely not be able to maintain any semblance of composure.

"Morgause lifted the spell as I told you, but then she whispered something else. I couldn't hear what she said, but I'm certain that it was aimed against Merlin. She left suddenly before I could demand an explanation. And then Merlin started clutching his throat like he was choking, falling to the ground not long after. I tried everything I could, but nothing worked. He's gone. I felt no pulse and there was no heartbeat…" Her voice faded away when she noticed Arthur's growing anxiety.

He now had his head bent down toward Merlin's body, but she wasn't sure that he was really looking down on him. Arthur seemed to be in another world…his attention clearly elsewhere.

Arthur shook his head. He moved his trembling hand to Merlin's, grasping the lifeless hand as if it were his anchor, Morgana thought.

She heard movement coming from a few feet away from them – where they had placed the king. Morgana saw that Uther was waking up.

"Arthur?" Morgana said softly. But he didn't answer her – not even looking up at her.

With a sigh, she stood up, gently laying Merlin's head back on the floor and she went over to Uther. She decided it would be best to get the king to see Gaius…and maybe…

But Morgana was sure that the last thing that the court physician wanted to see was Merlin in this state.

Looking back at Arthur, she saw the back of his head. He had taken Merlin up in his arms, his face hidden from view as he had it pressed against Merlin's shoulder. Morgana could hear restrained tears coming from him – like Arthur were trying to keep his emotions inside, but it was a great effort to do so.

She led Uther out of the room – doing her best to steer him away from Arthur who clearly appeared not to be in any shape to see anyone much less his father.

The king had left the room while Morgana elected to stay behind to look after Arthur. She asked Uther if he could bring Gaius to the throne room when he could be spared.

"What is the matter with my son?" He had demanded. Uther had noticed – Morgana was not too surprised. How could she hide something like that? Arthur was right there – and it was easy to see that he was an emotional wreck as he held Merlin, the prince's body shook as rasping sobs came from him.

Morgana had quickly shaken her head. "He'll be all right. Gaius needs to be notified though – he needs to attend to all those who have awoken. Goodness knows the state of them. We could use his help," she had said, trying to reassure him – no matter how much it grated her to be in the king's presence after their recent argument.

So with that, Uther had left to seek out Gaius and Morgana headed back to Arthur.

But before she reached him, Morgana stopped. She heard a voice in her head.

_"Morgana--"_

Morgana knew that she couldn't be mistaken. She would recognize that voice anywhere.

Tentatively, she spoke silently back, questioning, hoping beyond hope. _"Merlin?"_

There was a long pause as if it were difficult for the other person respond.

_"Yes,"_ he answered her.

The clicking of her heels echoed in the room as she ran the remaining distance to Arthur who was still holding on to Merlin, to all intents and purposes lost to the world around him.

Morgana abruptly collapsed beside Merlin. She hardly dared to believe it, but she was positive that what she was seeing wasn't her imagination.

Merlin's eyelids were fluttering – Morgana could see enough of his eyes to notice a gold tinge coloring his pupils.

"Arthur, Arthur--" she said earnestly. "I think Merlin's alive," she said firmly, no doubt in her tone.

Arthur looked up at her. She saw a lost look pass over his face before it shifted to a profoundly surprised one as he took in Morgana's words. She could see the redness around his eyes and dried tear stains on his cheeks – and it really wasn't until that moment that Morgana truly understood how close Arthur was to Merlin. How much Merlin meant to him. It took her breath away.

"What?" Arthur breathed out, unsure.

But without prompting, he quickly checked Merlin's pulse, a shocked look coming over his face as he pressed his ear to his manservant's chest to hear his heart beating. No matter how weak it was – it was far better than nothing at all.

"Merlin?" Arthur whispered.

Arthur felt Merlin's hand squeeze his briefly in response.

"How are you even alive, you idiot," Arthur muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

Morgana saw Arthur relax, finally, a great sigh of relief escaping him as he placed his hand on Merlin's chest – directly over where his heart lay.

She heard Merlin chuckling in her head in response to Arthur's words.

_"Can you speak out loud, Merlin?"_

_"No. I don't think so…throat hurts," _She could hear him sighing then. _"Tell Arthur I'll be all right."_

_"You were dead. I checked to make sure. How did you come back to life?"_ Morgana asked him.

She could almost feel Merlin shrug and he said – sounding equally as confused as she felt. _"I honestly don't know, Morgana. Maybe whatever spell Morgause used against me did not factor in my magic. After all, she did not know about my abilities. Lucky, that."_

Morgana took a breath and then she released it. She leaned toward him and kissed his forehead. _"Oh gods, Merlin. I'm glad you're all right."_

She could just see Merlin's answering smile in her mind's eye.

"He'll be all right, Arthur. Merlin will be okay," she told him.

Arthur looked at her and his smile toward Morgana was one of the brightest smiles that she had ever seen from him.

And Arthur and Morgana held vigil over Merlin until Gaius arrived.

~ * ~

As a result of Arthur's express orders, Merlin was placed in the prince's bed as he recovered. Gaius had said that it would take a few days – a week at the most – for Merlin to recover from whatever had stricken him.

Arthur and Morgana hadn't had the heart to tell him what had truly happened with Merlin. What mattered now was that Merlin was all right and that he wasn't dead.

They could almost pretend that he had never been dead in the first place.

On the second night, Arthur and Morgana had taken up residence on either side of Arthur's bed, now occupied by Merlin.

Unexpectedly, Merlin's body began to glow a vibrant golden color. Morgana looked sharply at Arthur – wondering if he would put two and two together.

Arthur only looked back at her – his gaze steady.

"Arthur?" She ventured tentatively.

He held Merlin's hand in a firm, strong grip. Morgana could see nothing but fondness from him toward Merlin.

"You…know?" Morgana said lightly, wanting spoken confirmation.

Arthur gave her a small smile. "He's healing himself, isn't he? With his magic somehow?"

"Arthur…" Morgana wasn't sure what to say. Arthur knew.

He inclined his head toward Morgana. "After you told me that Merlin was alive, I noticed that your attentions lay elsewhere. Like you seemed to be holding a conversation with someone who I could not see. Were you talking to Merlin?"

"Yes, I was. He could not speak out loud at that time. Merlin told me that it hurt to talk in such a way," Morgana explained.

Arthur seemed to accept her answer. He looked at Merlin for a long moment. Merlin's body was still surrounded by a golden glow and he also appeared to whispering some words under his breath – too soft to be heard. "Then you're like him? You're magic too?" He inquired.

Morgana nodded slowly.

Arthur nodded toward Merlin. "And how long have you known about Merlin's magic?"

"I have only known since the sleeping sickness and even then, it was by accident."

Arthur smiled at her crookedly. "Well, that makes me feel much better. If you had known for longer than that, then I would have felt cheated."

Morgana shook her head. She smiled sweetly at him. "Oh yes. I wouldn't want to damage your pride by beating you at yet another thing. And you never know – I may have known _for months _now," she jibed at him good-naturedly.

Arthur gave her an affronted look. "I'm sure Merlin will prove that you _did not_ know about him for that long."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "You can't prove that I didn't know _before _Merlin himself knew that I knew," she said smartly.

Arthur stared at her and then shook his head, looking bemused. "As always, Morgana, I get a headache whenever you grace me with your presence," he retorted.

"My pleasure, Arthur," she answered smugly.

She smiled back at him all the same.

~ * ~

"Merlin…Merlin? Wake up," Morgana nudged his shoulder lightly.

When he did not wake, Morgana looked to Arthur, but he only shrugged back at her. Then he nodded.

"Merlin, Arthur knows," she said quietly. "He knows about your magic."

But when she earned no answer, Morgana spoke silently to him in her mind.

_"Arthur knows about your magic, Merlin."_

That woke Merlin up considerably fast.

He sat up suddenly and looked around wildly as if he thought something would jump him.

"What? How? When?" He spoke in a rush.

She put a calming hand on his shoulder to calm him. "It's all right, Merlin. Arthur found out somehow – he has accepted it," Morgana tried her best to placate him.

"Don't get me wrong, Merlin," Arthur said in a stern voice, but Merlin wasn't fooled – he could hear the lightness of his words. "I'm quite unhappy that you didn't trust me enough to tell me about your magic, but I'm sure you had very good reasons."

Merlin nodded quickly. "This is Camelot – I had to be careful…"

"And why you decided to come to Camelot in the first place knowing who you are and the laws of Camelot – is a conversation for another day," Arthur sighed. He squeezed Merlin's shoulder, looking him clear in the eye. The prince's blue eyes were bright. "I'm just glad you're alive, Merlin. Seeing you…" he stopped, choking on his words. He cleared his throat and then Arthur continued on. "Nearly losing you has reminded me of what is important to me."

"Arthur…I'm sorry for not telling you," Merlin said earnestly.

The blond waved his hand in response. He looked at him pointedly. "Just promise me one thing, Merlin."

"What's that?"

"Never be afraid to tell me the truth. I would hope that you trust me as much as I trust you."

Merlin nodded. "I trust you, Arthur. I always will, I promise you," he said firmly, his blue eyes fixed on the prince's.

Arthur gave him a grateful smile while Morgana took Merlin's hand in hers, gathering it in her hands. She kissed his hand, a teary look in her eyes as she smiled at Merlin.

"I'm getting better. I feel it," Merlin said softly.

Morgana swept her fingers through his dark hair, giving him a warm smile. "Go back to sleep, Merlin," she urged him gently.

Merlin looked to Arthur. "I amtruly sorry."

"It's all right, Merlin. I'll get past it – eventually," he smirked at him, contradicting his words with the mischievous look in his eyes.

After Merlin had fallen asleep, Arthur and Morgana talked quietly with each other for a short while before Morgana retired to her own chambers.

When Arthur climbed into his bed to sleep beside Merlin, he did not see Merlin's smile as if he could feel the blond close to him. Arthur intertwined his hand with his, reflexively wanting to touch Merlin, to feel him there.

In the morning, Merlin woke to find Arthur still sleeping beside him, the prince's arms wrapped around Merlin and a smile graced Arthur's face that told of pleasant dreaming.

~ * ~

Once Merlin was well, he used his magic to conjure three symbolic golden rings for him, Arthur and Morgana.

"To remember the bond that the three of us have. For always," he said solemnly.

Each kept their ring on a delicate gold chain around their neck.

When they remembered that time, they did not recall Merlin almost dying – because that was far too painful – but of this moment, of this solid reminder of the bond of friendship, of love that they had among them.

~ * ~

Years later…

King Arthur stood up to address his people who had come to attend the celebration.

"In honour of the first year of my reign as King of Camelot, our own Court Sorcerer and Court Seer have a performance for all of you."

Merlin grinned at him and Morgana looked to be holding back a laugh. The two of them left their seats to stand side by side in the open area enclosed by the tables.

"Oh no, your majesty, we insist that you take part in what we have planned," Merlin protested, an undeniably mischievous look in his twinkling blue eyes.

"Now Merlin, I told you--" Arthur began.

"Don't be a spoilsport, Arthur. Just play along," Queen Guinevere admonished him. She waved him away, smiling in amusement as she did so.

Merlin turned to his audience seated at the tables around him. He smiled at everyone. "Well, the Queen agrees with me. Who am I to deny the Queen?"

Much to Arthur's chagrin, everyone was in agreement with Merlin's words. "Do it! Do it!" They all exclaimed -- laughter mixed in with the shouts.

"Oh, all right," Arthur acquiesced. He moved forward so that he stood on Merlin's other side.

Merlin explained "And now, I will turn King Arthur into something else entirely."

The audience immediately chimed in to give their contributions.

"A dragon!"

"A dog!"

"A cat!"

"A stag!"

"A rabbit!"

"All very good suggestions!" Merlin praised. "But, I will leave the choice with our Court Seer, the lovely Lady Morgana."

"Merlin--" Arthur warned.

Merlin only gave him a faint smile.

Arthur knew that Morgana could never resist the opportunity to make him look ridiculous. He hoped that she would spare him this time.

She smiled at Merlin. "Thank you, Merlin," Then, after a moment's thought, Morgana determined Arthur's fate. "I think a white horse would be a good choice."

Arthur let out a sigh of relief. That wasn't too bad.

So then Merlin's eyes took on a golden hue and with a few chosen words, Arthur was transformed into a magnificent white horse.

He galloped around the open space for a bit, the audience expressing their awe and excitement at what magic could do. Arthur had only been a king for one year – lifting the ban on magic was his first act as a newly crowned king – and, slowly but surely, the citizens of Camelot were coming to accept magic and appreciate the good that it could accomplish.

After five minutes, Merlin turned Arthur back into his normal self.

"That was better than I expected," Arthur remarked to Merlin.

"Arthur, don't act like you haven't done this before," he said back to him, rolling his eyes.

Arthur nodded, but then he pointed out to Merlin. "While that is true, this is the first time I've been a horse."

He clapped Merlin on the shoulder, Merlin grinning at him, and then Arthur went back to his seat beside Gwen.

Now Morgana led the show as she announced that she and Merlin would be turning into different animals in quick succession.

"Now the left side will give suggestions to what I will turn into while the right side will do the same for Merlin," Morgana explained.

"The key is the faster you give the suggestions, the better! No need to worry – we've been practicing quick transformations. Haven't we, my lady?" Merlin put in, giving Morgana a cheeky grin.

She smiled back at him. "Yes, as Merlin said – no need to hold back," Morgana nodded.

"No need to be modest, you two!" Arthur exclaimed cheerily, knocking back his glass of mulled wine.

Everyone started chattering amongst each other in anticipation of the main attraction.

Merlin looked to Morgana. "Are you ready?"

"I'm always ready," she said confidently.

They exchanged quick smiles with each other before Merlin announced that they were ready to begin.

During moments like this, Morgana felt eternally grateful for what had transpired that day years ago when Merlin had confided in her, strengthening their friendship more than ever before.

…until not long after, that friendship turned into love.

And that love turned into sacred vows on their wedding day soon after Arthur had been crowned.

Morgana wouldn't have it any other way.

~ * ~


End file.
